I’m sitting here crying.
Not everyone cries when they manage to complete 50,000 words of writing. And I’m certain that between blogging and other social media, writing, and roleplaying I manage to write 50k on a regular basis. But as I said in my last entry, winning Nanowrimo has a lot of emotional implications for me this year. I haven’t won since 2009. More than that, I haven’t completed anything of any real noteworthiness in the last four years. It’s been a very difficult journey lately, and to finish something this big, that means this much to me, is a big deal. My health forced me to drop out of college, and it has cost me a few jobs since the divorce as well. But it hasn’t stopped me from winning Nanowrimo.
Some people might say, “it’s just fifty thousand words, you don’t get any real prizes for it, and the novel isn’t even finished yet”. Well, no. It’s not finished yet. There are still about fifteen thousand more words of story left. Maybe a little less. But it’s 50k words closer to being finished. Edited. Submitted. Published. I’ve hit a point in my life where writing is becoming truly do-or-die, and being able to stick with Nanowrimo, to be dedicated to writing a significant amount every day, is a huge step on the way to making writing do what I need it to do for me. As far as real prizes, well, who cares? There are some little goodies that winners have access to, like discounts at Createspace and whatnot. But the euphoric sense of accomplishment is prize enough for me, at least tonight. Getting this project published in the next year would be an even bigger prize.
My first project for December is to get a good query letter together. I’m not stopping here, not resting on my laurels.
So I’m sitting here crying, because I finished something that actually means something for the first time in years, something that is a huge step to greater and grander things.
I’m also sitting here eating pumpkin cheesecake in the bookstore cafe. It is my reward to myself for a job well-done.
Victory is delicious.